A day I enjoyed my friend....

Today I saw my friend, she is ending her time here with us.  She is dying.

Lately, when I see her the hope she had months ago is gone. Reality has set and she no longer talks of life in what she will be doing in a year.  Now her timeframes are the snippets of time she has left.  Mostly, she talks about what she wants and needs to do before…before she is too sick…before she no longer has a voice in decisions being made...before she leaves us behind to start a new journey.

In my time with her she always reminds me to remember to live my life.  To get healthy so I can live a fullfilled long time. So I can enjoy life because it’s the only thing that matters at the end.  The memories we make and the friends we have are the only things that bring comfort when the future can only be counted in small measurements such as weeks, days and hours.

My friend still laughs but only when the meds dull the pain.  It is the most amazing sound to my ears.  It is that sound you here in the movies when the harp plays and the heavens open up.  All of this laugher despite how her body has turned against her..amazing to see that there is still humor in her soul.

For me that one sound and image of her wrinkled eyes when she laughs is the lesson I must take from her today and cherish as the wisdom from her final battle.  Laughter.  Laughter in a time of despair, in a time of overt sadness, in a time when time is precious.

Today was a good day, most days she waits for the next episode of excruciating pain and begs God to take it away. This is the same God she has prayed to for years...the God that has no power to heal her...he/it/she can only help if he expedites the end of her misery. An takes her from those of us who love her and will miss her. Those she has touched in ways that aren't tangible but so very real.

God?  If you exist why?  Why her? Why now? Why are you helpless to save this wonderful soul? That I know is another topic for another day...today I will concentrate on the good day I spent with my friend...her humor and her soul left intact despite her bodies woes...